


Cures for Headache Weather

by shishooter



Series: More on DR0 [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa Zero
Genre: F/F, Fluff, mentions of depression, no junko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 05:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2535824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shishooter/pseuds/shishooter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsumiki Mikan wakes up every morning with a deep sadness pushing her down. Ryouko Otonashi wakes up free and light, unable to remember what hurts her. Tsumiki needs the light, Ryouko craves stability and compassion.</p><p>Ryoumiki fluff for SHSL Rare Pair Week!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cures for Headache Weather

Tsumiki Mikan can feel headache weather coming on. Rolling in with the clouds, it brings a pressure to hang over everyone’s heads, pushing at them with an incessant rhythm. Tsumiki doesn’t give herself time to get a headache, and instead makes sure painkillers are ready for anyone who might come into the nurse’s office today. The nurse hasn’t gotten sick since she started school, and doesn’t plan on getting sick until after she graduates.

She prepares clean beds, checks the stocks of various drugs, and makes sure the office is clean and sanitary. When this is finished, she sits upright in a seat and waits.

This is where she spends most of her free time, her only refuge from the cruelty of the world. As much as she would like to stay here all day, she knows she cannot neglect her other duties. Sighing slightly, she packs up painkiller along with a basket of clean sheets, clothes, and food, then prepares herself emotionally to leave.

_You should stay in. No one wants to see you outside._

She clenches her fists. “I can do this.”

_Is it worth it? You’re worthless, a drain on the world._

Tsumiki falters for a moment, but picks up the basket and grips it tightly. “I have a job to do. People need me and I can’t be selfish and scared.”

She hears the voice almost constantly, the voice inside of her that doubts and eats away at the little bit of self esteem she’s managed to accumulate. For now, she’s able to push past the voice, but it’s only a matter of time before she breaks down crying over something small. This is Tsumiki’s life, the constant balance between being worn thin and snapping.

The biology building is quiet in the morning, most students prefer to sleep in on their days off. Tsumiki climbs a set of stairs, being careful not to trip, then knocks on the door of a certain lab.

“M-Matsuda? Good morning, it’s me- Tsumiki.” she says, trying to balance the basket one one knee.

The door slowly slides open, revealing a boy not much taller than Tsumiki herself, looking unkempt and tired. “What?”

“I brought laundry and food for you.” she says, hesitating. “You look ill.”

“Thanks.” he rolls his eyes. “Just sleep deprived. I’ll take that in.”

She follows him into the lab, looking at the space with a critical eye. She can spot at least five safety hazards and three unhygienic lab areas, but knows that Matsuda will get upset if she mentions these or tries to fix them.

Matsuda carries the basket to the back of his lab, and sets it beside a similar basket with rumpled sheets. Tsumiki notices the space looks different, tools appear to have been used recently and moved.

“Did something happen in here?” she asks, wide-eyed. Matsuda looks up, eyes sharp.

“No. And it’s none of your business, spider hair.”

She winces. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to-”

Matsuda leans towards her, blue eyes focused. “Stop.”

One of the reassuring things about Matsuda is that he acts the same with everyone. She once saw him chew out a school official that came to inspect the lab, calling him “slower than an unmyelinated cell” and “a fat and brainless primitive.” This makes Tsumiki feel comfortable, oddly enough, knowing that he makes no special effort to bully her. Equality is as strange as it is wonderful to her.

“Can you babysit today?” he asks, yawning. “I need to sleep and I can’t have the empty-headed girl making a mess of my lab.”

“Ryouko? I can spend time with her, if you’d like, but-”

Matsuda frowns. “Good. Don’t let her in here, okay? The fate of my work tonight is up to you.”

“What should I do with her all day?” Tsumiki asks, panicking slightly. Matsuda pushes her towards the door, strangely effective even though he can’t be more than twenty pounds heavier or three inches taller than her.

“Just- have her roll bandages or something. I’m sure that’ll entertain her for hours.” he says, closing the door.

Tsumiki blinks a few times, then starts walking towards the girls’ dorms. While many students choose to live at home, the majority of students at Kibougamine don’t have family nearby. She’s very glad to get to stay in the dorm, it’s better than her previous home.

Walking out into the overcast, she notices a girl standing by a fountain, surrounded by school buildings. Bracing herself for a social encounter, Tsumiki approaches Ryouko Otonashi.

“Ryouko?” Tsumiki hesitates. "What are you doing?"

The younger girl looks up, brown eyes bright and curious. “Well! I’m glad someone asked. I thought I saw a fish in the fountain and panicked because fish don’t belong there! What if someone released a fish into the fountain as a joke and the poor thing just wants to go home?”

Tsumiki makes a gasping noise, and in spite of her sensibilities, leans over the fountain to look. This would be dangerous with anyone else, but she trusts Ryouko not to push her in.

“You know, I probably imagined it. Oh well. I should go now.” Ryouko says, looking up to see Tsumiki. “Oh! Your hair is so pretty. Is it your natural color?”

“I-it is.” They’ve had this conversation dozens of times, and Tsumiki is always flustered by the other girl. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” she smiles, tilting her head to one side. “Pretty people deserve compliments, you know! See you around.”

Tsumiki takes a shaky breath. “Ryouko, Matsuda wanted to catch up on sleep today. Is it okay if we spend time together instead?”

Ryouko wrinkles her nose. “Poor Matsuda. Is he going to be okay? I suppose we can spend time together, if it’s what he wants.”

“He’s mostly fine. Not as healthy as I would prefer, but he doesn’t seem to listen to any suggestions.” Tsumiki exhales. “Let’s go to the nurse’s office.”

“Wait! Sorry, give me a moment.” Ryouko opens her ever-present notebook, flipping through it rapidly.

“Tsumiki Mikan, SHSL Nurse. You have notes about me on the page with the purple note.” Tsumiki says patiently.

The post-it notes were her idea, and Ryouko took to it quickly. The only issues were the lack of colors that the notes came in, and the sheer volume that Ryouko used. Her notebook has more post-its than pages now.

“Purple! Like you. So very purple.” Ryouko muses, which Tsumiki blushes. The red-haired girl reads for a minute, then looks up and nods.

“I remember you now. Or, not remembered, but relearned. I am entirely caught up, and we are the best of friends! How lucky for me.” the red haired girl smiles. “Where are we going?”

“My office. We can-” Tsumiki starts, stopping when Ryouko slips her hand into the other girl’s.

“Hang out! Matsuda will miss out on all the fun.”

_Like you even deserve to have a friend. Your hand is burning into hers. She’s only touching you because she pities you. You’re hurting her. You’re-_

Tsumiki winces, pulling her hand away from Ryouko. “It looks like it might rain- let’s hurry to the office.”

Ryouko pouts, crossing her arms. “Okay.”

Tsumiki’s office is exactly how she left it- empty and silent. Ryouko fills it like sun fills rooms, pulling in light with her. Tsumiki feels a bit less grey, the voice inside her is a bit quieter.

“So. This is your office.” Ryouko says, swinging herself up to sit on the desk. “It’s nice.”

“You’ve been here before.” Tsumiki says. “A- a few days ago.”

“Oh?” Ryouko wrinkles her nose. “That’s funny. Maybe I remember it some. Just- lots of purple. You’re purple.”

Tsumiki frowns. “I guess.”

They sit in silence for a moment, as Tsumiki pulls out a few scientific journals, trying to get caught up on any health-related research she might need to know. Ryouko watches her, swinging her legs.

“Tsu-mi-ki~” Ryouko says, standing up. “Can I play with your hair?”

Tsumiki curls her chin towards her chest. “Wh-what?”

“Like, braid it. It’d be pretty braided. You should stop cutting chunks out of it, too.” she says, tilting her head to the side.

“I don’t cut it.” Tsumiki says absently. “Other people do, sometimes. I- I guess you can play with my hair? If it’s okay with you.”

“Oh.” Ryouko moves behind her, and starts gently combing her fingers through Tsumiki’s hair. In the lighting, it looks more purple than brown, in sharp contrast with her pale skin.

Tsumiki finds it altogether impossible to concentrate on reading now. The other girl is close, invading her personal space in a way that feels strangely comfortable, safe. She’s been so scared before, and doesn’t let others in.

The difference is that Ryouko asked, and isn’t causing harm. It’s more like Tsumiki’s personal space has been extended.

She’s not entirely calm, though. Her heartbeat pounds faster, reddening her cheeks and ears.

“Are you okay?” Ryouko asks, slowly spinning around Tsumiki’s chair so that she’s facing the other girl.

“Y-yes. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong! I do things wrong all the time, so I should be saying sorry more, but I can never remember to. A bit frustrating- I don’t want to hurt others by being forgetful.” Ryouko frowns. “And it seems like I do.”

Tsumiki reaches out her hand without thinking, rests it on the tanned skin of Ryouko’s cheek. “You’re n-not broken. You’re doing okay, and people worth knowing will understand that you try your best and can’t always do the impossible. What matters is the effort.”

_What effort do you make? At least Ryouko can be happy, she makes others feel better. You can’t even manage that. You pull others down with you._

Ryouko leans into her hand, smiling slightly. “That’s nice of you to say. Maybe Matsuda will be able to fix me! Then I can be there for other people again.”

Tsumiki is scared of what she knows, that she was there before Ryouko was Ryouko. She was there after Matsuda asked for her help, and tossed red hair dye at her. She monitored anesthesia and passed him things he needed- a successful nurse assistant to the surgery. Thus, she was let in on a tiny piece of the plan, trusted with some information shared with Matsuda and Mukuro both.

She’s scared to like Ryouko too much, on the chance that the girl will recover and hate Tsumiki. It could happen, and they weren’t friends before. They were in separate classes and hadn’t interacted before Tsumiki met the unconscious, startlingly beautiful blonde.

Tsumiki’s liked girls for years, and despite the nagging belief that she’s unworthy of love, she still fell deeply into a silent crush for Ryouko. She was satisfied with it being unrequited, because that’s what she does. She bears emotions internally, letting them devour her from the inside out.

“You- you’re already here. You’re enough, please don’t think you’re not.” Tsumiki says, trying not to cry for reasons she can’t understand. “You’re brave, and caring, and dealing with everything so well. You’re-”

She stops herself, face getting redder. _Perfect already_ , is what she meant, but she can’t say that. Ryouko might panic and not want to be friends. Tsumiki is painfully aware of the fact that most girls don’t seem to like girls, and most people don’t like her in particular. The cards seem stacked against her and she doesn’t want to topple the deck just to see what her odds were.

Ryouko smiles. “No one’s as nice as you. SHSL Kind Person! Maybe that’s your secret ability.”

“Secret ability?”

“Yes. You know, I think everyone has one. Matsuda knows so much about manga, so that’s his. I- can’t think of other people right now.” Ryouko sighs. “I think mine is fashion! I can’t remember anything about it, but it’s interesting to look different ways and- fashion binds people together. It’s a way of showing others who you are, and you can see them. It’s communication and binds people together.”

Tsumiki blinks. “Really? I- never thought of it like that.”

“Yeah! Tsu-mi-ki, are you comfortable?” she asks, leaning forward slightly.

No, Tsumiki thinks, but not for the reason Ryouko is asking. The younger girl is mere inches away from her face, looking up at her through dark lashes.

“Y-yes.” she stutters.

“And if I came closer?” Ryouko leans forward further.

“I-it-t’s okay.”

Ryouko smiles again. “And if we touched?”

Tsumiki’s heart feels faster than her mind for once. “Yes.”

Then Ryouko’s lips are on hers, sweet and warm. She brings the sun in with her, dispelling the clouds in Tsumiki easily, if only for the moment. Her lips taste like strawberry, like her hair, her eyes, all the same warm color to flood Tsumiki’s senses.

Ryouko leans back first, watching Tsumiki’s face carefully.

“Was that bad?” she asks, looking concerned.

Tsumiki’s face is so hot, but she’s happier than she’s been in a long time. Ryouko still floods her, the pink-tinted glow seeming to resonate through her body. The voice is silent and Tsumiki feels lighter, connected to something besides her own despair.

“No!” she gasps. “That was- beautiful. I’m just s-surprised.”

“Really? You mean we haven’t done this before? Darn. My notes seem like this should have happened sooner.” Ryouko shakes her head. “You like me?”

Tsumiki nods. “A lot.”

The younger girl smiles. “Then I’m really happy. I need to make a note about this so I don’t forget anything!”

“Wait-” Tsumiki freezes. “R-Ryouko, what if I didn’t tell you something? Something that you might want to know now but d-didn’t want to know before, or-”

“If I get my memories back?”

Tsumiki nods. “Something like that.”

“Well,” Ryouko considers this. “I’d still like you. I’d have an entire notebook to tell me why! And, if we weren’t friends before or if you ever hurt me, I’d forgive you. You wouldn’t be able to do something so bad that I couldn’t forgive you, so it’s okay.”

“F-forgive me?” This surprises Tsumiki. Forgiveness is a confusing idea for her, why would she be worthy of forgiveness?

“You don’t have to worry. We’re closer than friends now. Kiss sisters.” Ryouko smiles widely. “We could even be girlfriends! Do you think Matsuda would be scared? Lesbians might be his one weakness, you never know.”

_You don’t deserve forgiveness. You don’t deserve love. You-_

_Shut up_ , Tsumiki thinks. _I’m doing just fine._

 


End file.
